The past week has been very aweful for me. My mind had been clogged by nothing but death thoughts… no matter how hard I tried to evade them thoughts, I even had death dreams… but that’s a story for another day. But I think that I came out a better person, stronger. I can handle grief.
I went out to drink this weekend. I blacked-out! Now before you judge me, it was an accident. The fact that I K.O’d was an accident. Because I’ve like, passed out blatantly like that like, three times ever since I started drinking! That’s got to be a record. I had my first sip when I was 16. I know that’s young….
But I’m a responsible young man, I was the guy who talked sense into the heads of the ‘gang’ back in high school. Apparently, while in a group people stop thinking, what else can explain the K.U frenzy? I will explain it to you right now, people stop thinking when they are a group!
Oh, what I should explain is how my ‘accident’ happened. Nothing complex really, I was seated in a bar… I gulped a couple of glasses… and without a warning… I pass out! That’s all I remember. I mean, I wasn’t even past my ‘gauge’ yet. Now this is not something I’m proud of. I regret it, even thought of quiting the drink (still thinking). I did NOT enjoy my high that night. That was a waste… a waste of money… a waste of time… and a waste of energy. I felt this feeling of nothingness in me, it killed me. That sort of behavior is not for a person of my stature. I’m supposed to show these friends of mine the right way!
I doubted what happened, so I said to myself “I won’t blame it on the A-a-a-a-alcohol, since it’s been loyal to me, and I have treated it with respect, we’ve had this wonderful relationship with no strings attached, so I MUST’VE been DRUGED!” All my friends were against the idea, because we were together and everything I had was with me because they took care of me. So I dropped the idea. I’m left with nothing… except that- “It was an accident!”
Now that’s my story. I don’t mind airing my dirty laundry for you all to see, unless if you all do.