Archive for December, 2009

RHETORIC.

Posted in Uncategorized on December 26, 2009 by wyndago

Words are powerful. They may not be able to break your bones or cause you any physical harm but words can be dangerous if misused. All powerful things are. Whatever you say with your mouth goes a long way, sometimes it does not only have an effect on you but also on the people who are listening, more so if they take heed.

They say it is better to listen than to talk, but how do you avoid being consumed by the words of the talker? Because words are not just words, they evoke emotions. When this occurs, people become attached and form opinions after which they epitomize those opinions and emotions. This can be a good thing, but not always. I once became a victim without noticing, in a way that was not good.

I always desire to be on the side of the truth, regardless of how it makes me feel. Whether or not it favours me but sometimes, if not most times, the truth resembles the lie too much to tell the difference. My father and I used to argue a lot about Kenyan politics (I quit because arguing only left me drained with nothing achieved), he was for one political party and to him, there was nothing the rival party could do that would be right. So I would argue with him just to reveal the other side of the coin but not that I supported the other party, just to make things level, trying to state little truths here and there.

Election time came in 2007 and the news were selling filled with so much tribal rhetoric in them. That election was the first I was liable to vote. So I listened, not only to politicians but also to people who surrounded me, they seemed to say similar things. Not much was being said about the issues, people did not care about those, they had already made up their minds based on tribe on who they were going to vote for, all that their tribal leaders had to do was say anything and it would be right to them. And then it became ugly, people became emotional, I gradually took sides based on what I heard being said, mostly fuelled by hate. Sometimes its not how you say it, sometimes its just what you say, period. Thankfully I was not infected by hate. But I took sides and I put my faith in a bunch of greedy people whose ideologies I did not even agree with, just because they talked loudest, just because they moved crowds (including me), I could see during the campaigns that they lied, but on election time I took sides because of their stupid rhetoric. Why did I take sides, both sides were the same.. liars! What happened to the truth?

I was watching Christiane Amanpour interviewing President Robert Mugabe of Zimbabwe on CNN the other night. This man has caused his country a lot of economic turmoil, that is the common knowledge. I was surprised that he would even accept an interview with Christiane Amanpour on CNN! Again, I listened. He made sense in the beginning, talking like the very educated man that he is, he was so convincing! Then I thought, there goes that rhetoric again. But I was glad to see that later he was asked a tough yet simple question and he practically choked on air, pausing for a good thirty seconds before he could answer. Then everyone could see the lie. From this interview I learned that Mr. Mugabe is not a simpleton, he just lacks wisdom.

The thing is to listen and to receive the words as a separate entity from the person saying the words so that your opinion of the person does not affect your judgment towards the words that he is saying. Because just because a person is an idiot, it does not mean that he is wrong. On receiving the words, it is upon an individual to use their wisdom to evaluate those words and to decide what lessons, conclusions or opinions can be formulated from those words. For there is something to learn from everything that you listen to, even from evil words. But I could be wrong, and that is the beauty of life.

CROOKED STEPS OF MY BABY BLOG

Posted in Uncategorized on December 22, 2009 by wyndago

Blogging, which I began as an experiment, has been such a fulfilling experience for me. I started off pretty confused but now that I’m enjoying it, it engenders the feeling that one does not command a strong presence on the web if you don’t have a blog. A blog is like a baby you give birth to and nurture to its full growth, the son (or daughter) that is going to represent you and speak for you. One thing I have learnt in this blogging business is that bringing up a healthy baby is difficult.

Honestly speaking I’m still partially confused about my baby. Sometimes I wonder if I picked the right path for my son to follow as he grows. Every parent wants their kid to amount to something in the future. I remember when I newly became a parent some old parents advised me; just let the kid be, allow him the liberty of choosing his own future, he’ll be okay. He is your baby, don’t let anyone tell you how to raise him! I liked that advice. I adhered to it. But sometimes I wanted to cover my face when people saw my son, because when they see my son they see me. When they see my mistakes manifest in my son, they see how fallible I am, you follow?

Anonymity is something you should greatly consider before you plunge yourself into blogosphere, especially if you intend or may find yourself writing personal posts from time to time. This varies from person to person, some people first start with an alias only to give it up and reveal themselves as soon as they get comfortable with it, others start and continue with their real names to the end. In blogoshere, you may have the right to remain silent, but whatever you say can and may be used to judge you in the court of blog. When I began blogging, I knew little about the activity. My url had my full name in it and it didn’t take me long to want to change it, only recently did I find out that I could do that, so I did.

The Sanctum, you want to know how that name came about? I was listening to Eminem’s ‘sing for the moment’ song, and the cursor kept blinking at the name-of-blog space… then came the line ‘..a sinner’s mind is a Sanctum..’ in the Eminem song, and the rest is history. I don’t know if a random pick of a blog’s name like that is wise, do not do that, unless you want to end up with names like Doubt Fire. Nevertheless, I don’t think the meaning of my blog’s name deviates so much in describing the blog. My advice to aspiring bloggers is to hold a vigorous debate in your head before you proceed to choose a name for your blog to make sure it gives a hint to what the blog is all about. Most importantly, just be unique.

Everything about this blog is random like that. Every now and then along the way I wanted to give it a new image, a new identity. Blogging can become so confusing when you cover everything and anything that comes to your mind. Both for you and your readers, but it’s cool if you can handle it, I think I am. Just that I would prefer to know where to go to to read about what. To give an identity to your blog, stick to one or a few subject topics please. But not this blog, just trust me you future parents, you hear me? Stick to a few subject topics! Do not follow into the crooked steps of this baby.

SORT OF LIKE

Posted in Uncategorized on December 18, 2009 by wyndago

Once upon a time

I was sort of like
Like so bored of life
I discarded the fight
I discouraged myself
But I saw the light
Now I so delight
But I’m cold as ice
And I was poor as mice
But just what I thought I was
I have gold, I’m wise
When your thoughts are nice
When they’re clean and white
You’ll escape demise
I mean, sort of like
Like sure I’m right
No, like soul and mind
Yeah that’s it, I’m right
I like these poems I write
When I mold it up
Like sort of like
A pot or cup
That’s how I grew up
I was well molded up
So now I’m like
Sort of upright

THERE IS JOY IN GIVING

Posted in Uncategorized on December 14, 2009 by wyndago

Walking on street pavements around Nairobi and seeing the different array of beggars from the disabled to the sick and to the physically normal people over the years, made me develop an attitude of contempt towards them, chiefly because I felt they had many more options aside from seeking handouts from other human beings who are just like them. I felt like they could do better to fend for themselves, at some point I even blamed them for whatever plight they undergo. I asked myself, why are other people poor while others are not? I thought maybe if anyone understood this one thing then perhaps they’d be better placed, including me, to truly help the poor.

But this was just a notion I had in my head, just a political thought. The poor I had in mind were not the ones sitting on the roadsides with placards beside them with a long medical history written on them, hoping to get money off the public. The poor to me were not beggars, those are just lazy people looking for an excuse to not have to work. The poor is that mother of a two year old child from the slum trekking to Nairobi’s CBD every day to sell sweets and cigarettes only for city council officers to topple her carton-made stand, and scatter all her stuff on the road. The poor is that family of orphans who have to work odd jobs to support each other.. those are the poor! I have always had the heart to give but I either thought of it as something to be done in future (when I’ll have something significant to give) or, whenever confronted with an opportunity, thought that the person(s) in question did not deserve it.

I walked by a blind beggar not so long ago, stretching out his hand, holding a tin, singing a gospel song, praising God. I remember thinking ‘if you truly believe in your God then why are you begging amongst men, beg your God and He’ll provide.’ I never gave a single cent to a beggar because I never believed in handouts- free things. When approached by those ‘dirty folks’ beggars I’d mean mug them like they were just about to take what’s mine and say words to shoo them away. I really did give them a bad look and when that made them back off it made me feel like I knew the street. I felt so because one of them had tried to extort me back in the day, he showed me a packet of ‘human wastes’ and a few sharp tools he had in possession inside his coat and threatened to use them if I did not pay up.

Then God spoke to me. Yes, God. He spoke to me. He said ‘Wyndago, ye my child thou need to learneth something’. Alright I did not exactly hear a voice speak but look, I had a sudden change of heart and a new attitude towards beggars was implanted in me in a split second (snap!). I strongly perceive it to be God speaking to me. It happened recently when I had just said another ‘no’ to a beggar. I felt compassion and all the times I turned my back on a beggar flashed before my eyes… and I was sorry. Then I felt the need to give. I woke up one morning and decided to pursue any beggar to not only give him/her money but to buy them food, and shake his hand, and wish him a good day. I had only fifty shillings with me so I was planning for just one beggar. I did not find any beggar around my neighborhood that day.

Yesterday, a friend of mine and I were approached by a street child, she carried a baby on her back and she asked us for money. I had no cash but my friend without hesitation stopped to look for loose change in her purse, I felt so ashamed that my friend wouldn’t even hesitate when I can’t remember the last time I gave to a beggar probably because I had never. Meanwhile I engaged the street girl in a friendly small talk. Asking her if she took anything for breakfast, she stopped to think but eventually said “tulikula mandazi”. I was impressed that she told the truth! She had paused to think whether or not to lie, it was about noon and she must have been tempted to lie to make us sympathize with her to lead us (my friend) to give her more money. Then she gave me a look mixed with both surprise and appreciation. I did not give the kid money, but I gave her something.

It feels good to care about people who other people care less about. There is so much joy in giving to the needy! Moral of the story; when you give, give with your whole heart and not just to get rid of loose change that make noise in your pocket. Give with compassion. Do it for the joy of it, it doesn’t matter whether or not they deserve it, appreciate it or pretend to be needy. Just do your part and always give! give! give! Even when you don’t have money, stop and show them that you care. That is our duty as God’s people, not something we do when we please.

Merry Christmas.

WHICH RADIO STATION ARE YOU?

Posted in Uncategorized on December 14, 2009 by wyndago

The ‘Oh’ moment as described by Barney on How I Met Your Mother season 2 inspired this post. According to Barney, when dating someone you don’t need to know much about them so as to delay the ‘Oh’ moment until after you get what you want (sex). The ‘Oh’ moment is when you find out something about your date that will give you reason to not go on with your advances on her, for example, when she suddenly tells you she’s bulimic, or married, or celibate… then you find yourself going, ‘Oh.’

Well, on first dates people talk about a lot of nothings and music is a popular topic to pop up. People mostly listen to the radio for the music, so they will listen to the station that plays their favourite music. But with time I came to notice (on dates) that people who listen to certain stations have some common traits. So whenever I went out for first dates I asked about favourite radio stations and when the answer came as certain radio stations, it made me go, ‘Oh.’

Here’s what the radio stations say about you in my book.

Capital fm

• You can be so full of yourself sometimes when you let your confidence override your humility, although you have it under control most of the time. You have class and because of that you always sought after that good life and you never get complacent.

• When it comes to music, you’re not an a-little-bit-of-everything kind of person, there are genres of music you have made a part of your life. You buy authentic music and like your music organized, songs that stimulate similar moods are put together in your mp3 player.

• Love. Cheating is not in you and when you find yourself doing it it kills you inside so you are comparatively faithful. You like to be shown affection but you’re not lovey dovey and always strive to stay on planet earth about the whole notion of love. Fun to be with but hard to get… and to find.

• Very talkative and opinionated.

Kissfm

• Everybody knows you are a sucker for soap operas. Kissfm’s are an emotion-driven bunch and what people say about you bothers you a lot even though you won’t admit it to yourself. Whatever is in fashion you must have it but you are willing to overlook quality and go for what is aesthetically attractive.

• You speak Swanglish, something like, I was busy so I couldn’t pitia, the boss zushad about leaving work early.

• You are an a-little-bit-of everything type of person when it comes to music. So long as it is new and it sounds good to the ear, it’s good. You are a radio junkie and perhaps due to that you rarely know any music that does not get air play. You don’t buy music.

• You talk too much, in an annoying kind of way.

• Holidays and anniversaries have to be special for you (Valentine’s Day, Christmas and Birthdays).

These ones don’t differ much from Easyfms.

Homeboys Radio (HR)

• A hip-hop head who drinks a lot but not to the point it becomes a problem. You like to go out on Fridays.

• You speak a lot of American slang that may not make sense to some people sometimes, occasionally adding four-letter words. You are too concerned with new trends, fads and the likes.

• You like your music blasting and are probably considered a nuisance in your home or home area.

• You like being part of a group, a clique if you may, just to hang around or doing something that you mutually like such as dancing, acting.

• An HR is a party person so you can always find him/her where its buzzing.

Ghetto Radio

Interesting fact: I have not yet encountered a single lady who admitted to me that they listened to this radio station so I guess it’s safe to assume that all female GhettoRadio’s are all liars!

• The original hip hop head. Never looks for love, love only finds him.

• You are down to earth but quick to proclaim that you’re street smart. You believe good things never happen until they are made to happen, usually by the same person to whom the good thing happened.

• Speak in Swahili slang

• You are an ardent admirer of local art, from music to graffiti.

• Sometimes you buy authentic local music

• You loyal to friends.

Xfm

• You know what you want and so you take it

• You are an interesting person but other people can’t realize that until they spend a considerable amount of time with you.

• An introvert who likes peace and quiet.

• Sometimes you talk to yourself loudly

Note: Most people don’t always listen to one radio station so depending on the proportion at which you listen to different radio stations, you may have varied characteristics from different radio stations. But you are always more of one radio station than another.

I’M A 80’S BABY

Posted in Uncategorized on December 7, 2009 by wyndago

Babies of the 80’s, those were the last good bunch of babies, the generation that scooped that last bit of fun in real childhood. I mean real childhood. Life was good then, there wasn’t global warming or the numerous TV stations we have today, and perhaps because of that we had plenty of time to be real kids rather than trying to act older than we were.

And parents were parents, discipline was effectively instilled in a child whenever he displayed the slightest sign of drifting away from the right path and was promptly ‘straightened up’. Get home past the curfew- whoop ass! Return from the shop without the bread he had been sent or the money because he lost it on the way- whoop ass! Hell, look at your momma wrong and you get a whoop ass! That wasn’t the good part for us kids but the point is things were in order.

Fast forward to 2009, parents went stale like they had a use-before date. Parenting stopped. My nine year old sister’s favourite commercials are the ‘tumechill’ and ‘shake-shake’ (that one for sanitary pads, she loves the song!) commercials. She won’t stop singing and reciting what they say in those commercials. I did not have an issue with that until she approached me and asked about the tumechill symbol; is it like this (normal peace sign) or like this (peace sign with fingers close together)?

‘I don’t know’, I muttered, ‘how did you see them do it on TV?’

‘Like this’, she said waving the normal peace sign.

My argument is this; yes, I’m a first born but I am NOT a parent yet! Where are the parents at? If I go through this, will I have to go through it with my kids too? Oh, I guess I’ll leave it for my first born kid, they really do come in handy those ones. I just need to make sure I give him enough whooping while he’s still young, he’ll take care of the rest.

‘Daddy, can I ask you something?’, that would be my 6 year old daughter asking in the year 20__ something, in a curious but sweet face. You know how adorable kids can be.

‘Sure, honey. You know daddy’s a genius. Shoot’

‘What’s a blow-job?’

‘Aah, that’s easy. Go ask your big brother!’

Boys are easy, you just buy them a couple of porn magazines on their 14th birthday and they’ll learn everything by themselves. More effective than an uncomfortable lecture by his old man. Seriously though, nobody should buy their teenage boys porn magazines, I’m just saying it works better.. a win-win, everyone gets what they want. As for girls.. once they get comfortable they get it all out, I’m not sure I’d like that. That’s where mothers come in, I guess.

My siblings are growing up in a very different environment, right from the realm of the family. They get to watch TV ’til midnight, I used to be sent to bed by 9pm. My mother used to switch off the TV on me and made me do homework or some excuse of a chore, now I settle down to watch TV and it’s not odd to hear her yell from another room:

‘Let your sisters also watch what they want to!’

Even when they don’t want to watch. I don’t know what changed.

These ’90’s babies don’t know any better but lucky for them they have us, the generation that will make the coolest parents. If they pay attention the may learn our swagger. The revolution is here and it’s ours- babies from the error of good music but bad sense fashion- The Eighties.

HIV/AIDS AND MY PEOPLE.

Posted in Uncategorized on December 1, 2009 by wyndago

Who’s fault is it? It’s their fault- them! They are the ones who went sleeping around with random people and failed to take the simplest precaution of using a condom. That’s plain stupid and ignorant, it’s their fault!!

To begin with, they KNOW. They know it MAY have been stupid, they go through a lot of trauma by themselves and they don’t need anyone else to add to their psychological burden. It does not necessarily make them stupid or ignorant and the rest of us are more or less like them by virtue of being human. We make mistakes, we all tell lies, how can one redeem himself and claim he’s a saint? Tell me, are you saint?

It really does not help to point fingers, it’s my fault or it’s his fault, you think it would make the virus go if at all it wasn’t the fault of a HIV/AIDS patient that he/she has it? Time has come to fight in the right battle, kill in the right war, recruit in the right army and to march in the right direction to deter the human race from entirely being pervaded by this virus.

I’ve seen it first hand, it was right in my backyard. My mother’s sister was infected with AIDS and I didn’t need to be told, I called that woman my aunt. She was my family. She got so sick, she got so thin. No, she lost all meat because all that was left were bones, she looked like sticks. To look a little normal she had to wear more clothes. I wondered how she walked. When I looked into her eyes, she looked ashamed. I was just a little boy, some things I just couldn’t ask. She died, you see? She left two baby girls, the little one is sick too. She got infected during birth, you see how it doesn’t matter who you blame?

Most of my friends are jack rabbits, it’s a fact and I can’t hide it. Listen, it’s not perfectly safe but at least have a rubber on when you get to humping. That’s how real the threat is, you see? Sometimes we tend to forget, or we choose to forget until something tragic happens close to where we are standing. Or a little later when it happens to us. Then we scream “NOT AIDS!!”, and we wonder how it happened. Not a single person is immune, it could happen to me just as it could it happen to you.

People with the virus are an obvious target for stigmatization. It may not mean much to you as to why they should or should not be stigmatized until it happens to someone you immensely love. Then all over sudden it will become so senseless, you find yourself asking questions like; why do people do this? Infected people are not deprived of brains, they are not handicapped. They won’t unexpectedly just drop dead due to their condition. As far as I am concerned they do not fall under any special group of people. Not unless they themselves put themselves in that box, and even then it would be a hoax!

My High School English teacher is a heroine. She taught me English literature too, the Lord knows I did enjoy her lessons because when she spoke I’d wish she never stopped. She had these interesting stories that had beautiful endings. She had more to share with us than what was written in the books. You see, she is positive. I mean HIV positive. I heard the rumours then, but I didn’t pay attention to them. But my teacher Mrs. Nindo is a heroine, I saw her on TV talking about HIV/AIDS. The stigma she went through, the fact that she’s still here is proof enough of the amount of courage she possesses. My teacher is a good woman, and a very great one. I am very proud of her.