LETTER OF APOLOGY

Dear Winnie,

Look, I can only be responsible for what I do, so whatever consequences that come with my actions I’ll accept, whether they are good or they are bad. Whether I consider my actions mistakes or not, because then they would be MY mistakes… and this was a mistake. I should have never hooked up with you, okay I’ll rephrase; I should have never had sex with you!

I was just trying to have a little fun but now look, like my friend Becky told me, I’m in a fix. She also thinks I used you… I disagree. Or perhaps I did, only that that was not my intention. I hate to see how much I’m going to crush your world and break your heart. Unfortunately there is not a nice way or the right time to break up with someone. It’s funny I’m talking about breaking up because I didn’t see you as my girlfriend. OMG I used you!

Honey, I’m scared at how emotionally you are handling the situation. I’m scared you are going to hate all men because of me. I heard Becky’s story, she’s had it rough with men. Poor thing don’t give up on men because of me, not like Becky. How can I be responsible for how you feel after all’s been said and done? Only you can decide to dust yourself off and try again, with someone else. Am I responsible to making sure you learn from this and that you go back to the emotional status that I found you in? …because if I could I would, just tell me how.

How old are you, anyway? Why did you lie to me? Now you tell me that you are in high school but it shouldn’t change anything, are you serious?! Just because you repeated a class doesn’t make you old enough, sweetheart. See, I wouldn’t have even dreamed to touch you had I known that fact. I just don’t roll with teenagers. Tony warned me about this crap! Tony is a close friend- he has a PhD in womenology, that’s why I trust him on the subject. I just don’t want you to go and do something crazy… get a grip of yourself.

“You know what that girl is probably thinking, Wyndago… she’s probably thinking of you as a potential husband. That’s what she sees you as…” that was Becky talking. Ptch, I don’t even see myself with a wife! …Yet. So lately I’ve been stressing myself over you because I’m about to break a heart, listening to that Michael Jackson’s song Billie Jean over and over. I feel like I’ve become the same exact person I feared to become. And right about now celibacy is quite a valid option for me because you girls come along with complications too much than I can handle, I don’t need none of that. I don’t need for someone to keep asking me where am at, acting up because I didn’t answer my phone or because you caught me in the middle of my sleep and you insist on talking.

I thought I could meet women and flirt and have fun, the sex part notwithstanding. You think you have it under control until it all becomes hazy once emotions set in. One thing leads to another and before you know it, before I knew it I found myself here. So now I’m thinking, how about not playing that game at all. I’m not happy to break your heart, Winnie. I’m hurting just to break it. Right now when I see women I see hearts made of glass waiting to be broken and crashed by a man, possibly with a bat (pun intended). I’m sorry I became that man for you. I’m really sorry. I even prayed about it last night, I’m sure God has forgiven me so will you also? One day, I hope you get to read this letter.

Yours truly,
Owen.

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